Some of My Photos

Hi me again. You might have missed me for long. But now I am back again. This time to share some of my memories. Yes I collected a lot of memories in the short span of last couple of years. Let's cut the story straight. One of my favourite memories is when I used to have curly hairs. I was very fond of my curly hair. These days they are not the same, oh shame. I would love to have them again. But some things you dont have control on. At least I have these memories of those golden days, I would like to share with you.

You might be wondering I am sitting on a high chair, yeah that's quite high but not a chair. Take a look at the next photo and see how high it is and how much somebody is enjoying. I thought he should be showing some concern. I am worried, if he is not, anyways its my bum thats going to hit the floor so I should be worried.

Ujjwal Is 2 HOORAY!

Ujjwal is 2 year old now on the 21st June, since then he is being a naughty boy, this is what he does : Pulls my hair all the time, loves to wear hairband , Pinches me, Puts dads computer off, Puts dad credit cards, car keys out of the window, switches off the T.V, plays with pots and pan without telling mum.Thats why, you wouldn't imagine a 2 years boy doing all this would you. By JASMINE

I do enjoy swings

> when I am holding them tight.
>

Funny... No

What's funny about this?

Going out of my head

I was fast asleep When mum came to see me this morning. Sandra was looking after me today. She asked mom to go ahead with my cares. That disturbed my sleep. That off course will wake anybody up, if you understand what I mean. At least it was a better feeling having a clean nappy.

Mom asked Sandra did I gain any weight last night. This is her favourite question. Sandra told her that I lost 100 gms. This was in addition to 39 gms I lost yesterday. In normal circumstances mom would have got very concerned. But she knew that most of the weight gain was due to the access fluids as a result of infection. And having gained weight at fast rate in days preceding it was for better. I need to gain weight but gradually. Any big increase stresses my body to do more for all the extra mass.

I am still continuing my struggle with my cannulas. As it was not in perfect condition my antibiotic Vancomycin was taking ages to go in.I was told again and again not to end my arm as if I would listen to them. They had stopped my caffeine which is the equivalent of tea and coffee for me. How could they expect my mind to work without it. If I continue to have problems with my cannulas I am threatened that a cannula might be put into my head. I am not joking. Doctors say the veins in head are wider and easier to access and so that will be their last resort to fix the cannula trouble. Needle in the head, yeah! that was the only area left that they had not poked in. Don't blame me if I get out of my head next time.

Cannular problems

Today mum along with Jasmine came to see me. She could hear me crying from a distance. And its not difficult for her to recognize my voice. Though it is not difficult for anybody to guess that its me who is crying. They say I am the loudest. I don’t know weather to take that as a compliment or otherwise. When she came near me she found me on my tummy. Immediately she realised why I was crying. There was blood all over my wrist where cannula was. Cannula is the tube that takes fluids and medicines directly into my veins. Mum panicked and called the nurse Sarah. She immediately took off my cannula. Mum gave me dummy to pacify me. But it was an anti-cannula day. The second cannula on the other arm stopped working. You might be wondering how many cannulas I have. Yes more than one, one for continuous TPN I am having, that is my feed. Another one is for medicines, my antibiotics. As first resource when a cannula stops working it needs flushing just like blocked drainages you may better know. But this flushing was of no use. As without the cannula I wasn’t getting any feed or antibiotics, this was an emergency. New cannula needs to be put in me. This is a specialist job (no DIY), so the doctor was called. Doctors must be getting frustrated with me. They had changed the cannula yesterday and now it needed a change again. Putting a cannula is quite painful. Not to the doctor, to me, although it must be frustrating for the doctor as well. Sometimes it takes half an hour to put one on. Finding my tiny veins is just like finding the needle in the haystack. He was done on one when mum came back from expressing milk. But she was asked to wait further as one more needed to go in.

29, August,07

Today when mummy came to see me this morning she found me awake. As usual she did my cares and got the chance to cuddle with me. She gave me a big cuddle and lot of kisses.In the evening I welcomed dad, naani and Jasmine with eyes wide open as well. This made their day and they were cheered up.

Doctors told daddy that they plan to start my feed from Friday. This got me cheered up as well. Everybody left a little early today. Today my friend to be Savar's birthday and he celebrates it in paris. Happy birthday SAVAR. I will soon coming home to play with u.

Raksha Bandhan

I am told today is a special day for me. Not only me for Jasmine as well. It is the day of Rakhi. A favourite day for sisters and they wait for the entire year. Jasmine has waited for this day for five years that makes this date a lot more special for her. Of course it will be special for her as she is the one who will get gift for tieing me the Rakhi. On Rakhi day sisters tie a thread on brother's wrist and pray for his long life. Brothers in return promise to be a shield for her in all of her difficulties and more importantly give them gifts. To fulfill all those promises first I need to be strong enough. Jasmine brought a lovely Rakhi for me. She tied it on my wrist with mom's help.On the health front I was very quite due to infection. Infection markers remained high. Mom visited me this afternoon and was lot concern. She was over whelmed with all the information doctors gave and the X-Rays they showed her.

Parents Premonition

Mom and dad were here in the afternoon. They had got used to me crying for last few days. When today I was quite, they had an inkling that something was not right. Dad talked to Bashir, the registrar and told him that I was not looking well. My tummy seemed full and I looked pale. I was very quite. Doctor comforted him saying all was well with me. But fears of dad came true when in the evening he was told on phone that I was having de-sats. X-Rays showed gas in my tummy. I needed oxygen support to get my breathe back.
Task of breathing was not such a hard chore before. Now I am having frequent de-sats and needing external support to breathe. Root of all problems had been found to be a bug that grew today from blood cultures from 24th. All the antibiotics I am having may not be targeting that bug hence I will be given additional drug vancomycin. I have no energy to turn my head, to open my eyes. I dont feel like doing anything.
Mom dad concerned from the happenings of the day were with me late till 1 am this night. Doctor updated them showing the X-rays which showed gases in the abdomen. Also telling them how the cultures had grown a bug. But isn't it strange that technology of X-rays, blood cultures could only corroborate what parents can sometimes see with bare eye.

Still on Dummy.

Nothing new to say. It was another groundhog day. No food to feed on, just a dummy to suck on . Everybody around me thinks I have become a lot irritable these days.
I am either asleep or if I am awake I want my dummy.