Day 36: I am hot

Thats what nurse Susie says. Not just because I am in hot room but because she thinks I am handsome and a lovely boy. I gained 44 grams today that must have increased my muscle power. Although I am still on antibiotics but I am winning my fight against the bug. This afternoon I am moved to the room 4 as a lot better. My hot room vacancy can be used by other needy preemies. I am still on vapotherm at pressure 4.5

After having cuddles with me mum dad went home early today. The reason they gave me was that they have to clean the house. My granny, my mom's mom, she is coming from India. So they have to get the house ready for her. I am also excited to meet her.

Day 34: Pain

This noon mom dad seemed to have specially came just to change my nappies. They came did my cares and were gone. Then I found out that it was Jasmine's last day at school so she was leaving school early at 1.30PM and they have to be there to pick her. I didn't needed that explanation. Did I complain.


When they came back in the evening I was fast asleep. I felt the touch of their hands and woke up. Jasmine was also with them this time. My cares were due again so nurse told them they can do the cares. Then everything started to go pear shape. First mom dad noticed that my hands and feet were swollen. They were concerned. They were told the reason might be the infection. Then nurse came to give me anti-biotics. It gave me pain, a lot of pains. I think I told them with a clear throat that I am in pain. The nurse noticed it very well and stopped what she was doing. She told my parents that cannula isn't working. Cannula is the needle into my veins through which they give me antibiotics or other fluids. She said doctor will come and put a new one.



Next half an hour they spent looking for my veins without success. Mom dad could tell even from outside that I was in pain. They couldn't take it any more and went to parent's room. They must have been relieved when doctor went to them to tell he has at last put the cannula. They came back spent some time with me comforting me and went home once I was asleep.

Day 33: My new nest

Mom hadn't fixed her car's tyre so she was not be able to come this morning. So she came in the evening with dad once dad was back from office. Once they were here they were given the oppurtunity to do the cares. After the cares it was time to change my bed. And today I got something new, a nest. What is a nest? It is something to make me feel comfortable. Actually it is there to stop me doing my sliding trick. It is supposed to make me feel the same as I was in my mother's tummy. It is in two pieces. One is in shape of a nest in which I am made to lie down and other one can be put in different ways to comfirt me.

Day 22: Dad was neck deep in water.

When mom dad came today they had a story to tell. My to be home town, where mom dad live, is flooded. Last night one of my dad's friend Kuldeep came back from Doha. Next morning his neighbours knocked at his door telling him his house can be flooded. He was of course surprised and worried. Dad went to his help. Access to his house was flooded with water. Dad has to go through neck deep of water to help him. That is upto my neck not his ha ha.. . He told me how there were all these people with different emotions. Some whose houses were at risk were either scared or busy getting the sand bags. Then there were people who had came to help the ones trapped like my dad. And then there were flood sight seers who had just came to have a look at. Children were there with there bikes enjoying without the worries of grown ups. Then there were these two girls one pushing a super-store trolly and other sitting inside it crossing the flood water. There was another girl who was scared to go into the water yet she wanted to go to her grandmother's home. A man with his 4X4 helped her by giving her lift.

Day 31: Mom had a flat tyre

May be not mom but her car. She came today and told me that while going back one of the front tyres of her car got punctured. As she told me the story there was an ambulance behind her. She tried to get her car out of the way and hit the kerb which got the tyre punctured. She was lucky that daddy was following her in his car. He changed the tyre and they were able to reach home.
About me, if I didn't told you before I am on vapotherm again and instead of bolus feed I am on continuous feed as before. Volume of feed is also decreased. All that couldn't stop me gaining 3 grams of weight. Results from blood reports haven't come yet. My sats were normal with few downs but overall I am OK. All three were with me then Jasmine told mum that its her expressing time. That's the duty of Jasmine to remind mummy about her expressing. Dad have fun time with me after that although it wasn't fun with me. I was very active and have my eyes wide open. He took lots of pictures of me. Then I started crying. He seemed enjoying that as instead of comforting me he was recording my cries. Later he did comfort me but by that time half the neighbourhood was awake.

Day 30: Whats in my heart

Today mum and Jasmine came to me. Dad was in office. I was not feeling as good. My sats were going up and down. Sats were not satisfactory last night as well. Something was not right in blood test which prompted nursing staff to transfer me back to hot room. Mom was informed about that. She got concerned. She was with me when I got transferred.
In the hot room they did a chest X-Ray of me. Something was wrong in that. There was a shadow which was not there before. I was put on medication for a suspected infection. Mom phoned daddy about that. He must have got concerned as well as he was besides me in couple of hours. As he came he was shown two X-Rays one from past and one from today. He was told that shadow in the lungs might be my feed that have gone there due to some reflex or it may be an infection. In either case there is risk of infection so I was put on anti-biotics.
Now my parents understood what ups and downs meant. They were told at my birth that I will go through ups and downs throughout my stay at neonatal. After last few days of ups here's the down again. But now they seem to better mentally prepared than last time when they were almost in tears.
More ever now they have examples of Harriet and Oscar my friends whose parents from time to time talk to them on what to expect.

Day 29: Bloody day

Mom dad came this morning and looked to be in a hurry. They saw me, grabbed my red book, my cot label and they were gone. Later I realised they were in a hurry to register my name. They came back as fast as they went. The registration office at level 5 was closed. I am not officially Ujjwal Kang yet.
When they came back I was having some blood. As I told you yesterday I was little anaemic. Doctors were hoping me to produce some red blood cells on my own. My body didn't produce enough so they have to give blood transfusion to me. My pale colour will improve wit this transfusion. Mum saw me and as usual was concerned that I didn't look well. My sats which show oxygen level in my body were having some dips now and then. Doctor specifically told mum dad not to have any cuddles as I am low on energy. They were even scared to touch me in case my sats dipped. Jasmine was very stubborn, she really wanted to touch me.
All of them spent some hours with me. As they couldn't cuddle me so they took turns to feed me. Mom asked the nurse how much weight I gained but she hadn't weighed me last night. Mom was disappointed.

Day 28: Moved to special care unit

Last night after mom dad went I was moved to special care unit. Some new babies needed intensive care, and as I was most fit in there, I was requested to make way and I obliged. When mom dad phoned last night they were told of this development, they were surprised.
Today mom came without dad accompanying. She had one of her friends Sheetal with her. Along with Sheetal came her daughter Chinu. She is Jasmine's friend. Both of them were pleased to see me. They had a photograph alongside me. Soon mom went with them and didn't came back.
It was only in the evening that she came with dad and Jasmine. Dad was first time into the special care unit and was pleasantly surprised to see that environment here is relatively calm and it is more spacious. Mom dad had cuddle with me and Jasmine sung her songs as usual.
As yesterday I told you that I am off breathing help. Today I needed a little support from vapotherm as I got tired of breathing on my own. When parents came I was again off vapo-therm. One more negative was my hemoglobin level which went down. I am now little anaemic. Doctors will later decide whether I will need blood transfusion.

Day 27: I graduated to open air

Today was a long day. I waited and waited for mom dad. They came late in the evening. I was told that mum was busy and dad had to go to office. This was his first day at work since I was born. I am told he goes to office to do work. Everybody have to do work to be able to fulfill their needs. What are these needs as my needs are not much, three four nappies and few milliliters of milk. And yes some air to breathe. Sometimes I also need some help in breathing. That is what I want to tell you today. I have fully graduated to breathe on open air. The vapo-therm which was helping me breathe had been taken off and I am breathing on my own. My sats are good, I am happy. My face is free of masks, few tapes are still their but they are not needed and would be removed any time. I am continuing my weight gain. I gained 39 grams last night.
Although my parents came late but they seemed very eager to be with me all three mom, dad and Jasmine were fighting to be on my right side where I was facing. They were queuing to get their turns. It was very funny. I woke up listening to their voices and they talked to me one by one. Each was saying that I am opening my eyes to their voice.

Day 26: I am even heavier

This is second day in a row that I gained my weight, a big achievement. I gained another 30 grams. It is all about weight now. I have overcome my other problems of breathing, infection, feed toleration. I am on vapotherm with pressure mark at 3 which is the minimum. I may come of vapotherm soon. Mummy daddy were happy about that. They came in the morning after Jasmine went to her school. Both had me for a cuddle. Even dad got his chance of cuddle, a rare thing. They were pleased with my progress. They told me that they phoned last night and the nurse Badri told them how naughty I was. She had to change my nappy three times and then whenever she put me on the top of the bed in few minutes I would be at the bottom. I told you last time about my slide trick. Mom dad spent the entire afternoon with me. They only went at 2 O clock when it was time to pick Jasmine from school.
In the evening all three were back. Jasmine sang more songs to me. She seems learning songs specially to sing to me. She always tries to give her finger to me to hold and when i tighten my grip she complains that I am not leaving her finger. I think she likes me holding her finger and just pretends to be upset.

Day 25: My big sister and I have visitors

Thats Jasmine holding me in her hands. Most of the times she had to fight through mom and dad to get her chance to hold me. Today she got it and was very proud. She wore salwar kameez and got compliments from everybody. Mom told me she wasn't ready to wear it now when every body said she looked gorgeous in it she agrees
that she will wear it some times.
Today some of my parents friends came to visit me. First it was Ravinder uncle and Kulwinder Auntie. They were pleased to see me but also concerned to see the feeding tube go through my throat. Ashu, Simar their children couldn't come to me as children of visitors are not allowed due to risk of infection. Dad told me that they really wanted to see me and were very upset for not being able to do that. They played with Jasmine in parent's room.
Next were Ashu auncle and Rimpy auntie. They were also pleased to see me, although they were not that overwhelmed by the environment as they have been here before. Mom told me there son Akul was also here some time ago. He was also there in parents room. I would have liked to see him as he would have been the youngest visitor our chemistry might have clicked. All in all it was a different than the usual.

Day 22: Weight gain regime

With another 10 grams down. Dad had a lengthy talk with the registrar today. Doctor explained to the dad what they are doing and what will be the next steps in case I continue my slide. I am already having milk fortifiers as I explained these are added calories and nutrients to my feed. Now they have started me on additional calcium every six hours. They are increasing my feed volume every day and they will increase it until it is full volume for my size. He explained why they can't put me on full volume straight away as that might cause more complications if I didn't tolerate it. So all in all, it was all weight gain session. My mum told me that most off the outside world have the problem other way around.
My mom had cuddle with me again today. Jasmine reminded mom that dad should have the cuddle first. But she explained that she had to go to express milk. As usual my sats went down and after 15 minutes nurse advised mom to put me back in. So same old story with dad continued. But once mum and Jasmine were gone I got my dad's total attention.
After coming back Jasmine told me her story that how she went to school dressed as a butterfly. It was mini beast day in her school and everybody in her class were dressed up as different creatures.

Day 21: Grand motherly concern

So I have been three weeks into this world. All the time I have been in this six feet cubicle but still I have seen a lot of the world. Mostly through the eyes of my parents and sister. When I open my eyes I see blurred black and white shapes, I can recognise them to be my mum, dad or sister. I have heard their voices before when I was in mum's tummy. Now I can give shapes to these voices. These voices then tell me that there are a lot more people who are concerned about me. They are my mom, dad's friends, the medical staff that is looking after me and the family back home in India. I am told India is far away from here. They can't come to see me but through this blog they feel to be in contact with me. One of them my mum's mom will be here in few days. I will be able to meat her. And when I will be big enough I will go and meet them all.
Then there is my grand mother, with her grand motherly concern. Just like my mum she can't have a sleep without knowing about my well being. She wakes up at nights and ask my grand-dad to phone my parents or go and read the blog to tell her about how I am.
All these people's concerns were raised when I lost further 50 grams of weight. Now I am back under a kilo. My feed has been increased, but still I am losing weight. Doctor's expect me to start gaining weight in next few days. They think the loss of weight might be due to the effort I do to breathe. And I am little more active and spend my calories to shake my body instead of growing.

Day 20: Yes I am that tiny

I am tiny but not without a trick up my sleeve. OK I may not have a sleeve as I am only in nappies since I was born but still I had some odd tricks. One of favourite is my sliding trick. In this trick the nurse puts me at the top of the bed and on her next visit I am at the bottom. Another is flick of the tongue, here I get the feed line that goes into my tummy through my mouth, out without pulling it with my hands. Nurses always think that I pull it with my hands but they have never been able to catch me red handed. My pu trick, you already know about it. So think again when you say he is so tiny.
My parents are here again and they are much more worried with tiny me getting even tinier. After losing 50 grams yesterday I continued the slide and lost another 10 grams. They didn't liked this trick of mine. My feed is being increased day after day as I am able to digest it, but still the calories which should be used to make me grow are gobbled up somewhere else, may be I am using them too much to perform the tricks.
I had a cuddle with mom and dad today and I was able to sleep in there hands. May be that was their game plan. They kept their hands over me so that I can't move my hands or legs and thus was forced into sleeping.

Dad 18: Sorry daddy

Today dad got his wish. As the nurse offered mum a cuddle he stood up and told his sorry story to get the first chance to have the cuddle. Elli the nurse obliged. Actually dad deserved it too. Not because mom was having all the cuddles all these days but because of what happened just before with him. All the people present had sympathy with dad and they agreed with hard days work he deserves to have the cuddle.
Here's the story. It's a little dirty story so beware. Today mom let dad do the cares. By cares I mean change my nappy. He opened the nappy and happily told mom its little pu and he will clean it. He cleaned it and was ready to put on the new nappy. Then I got this pressure from nowhere and .... you know what would have happened. Luckily dad wasn't on target but all the blankets and even the incubator wall's were filled with pu. He called for help. While the help was arriving he cleaned me again and when he was certain all is done, I did the wee. Nature's call I can't do anything although I had my sympathies with dad. So he deserved the cuddle didn't he...

Day 17: Meanie Mum

At last the trend reversed. Thats my weight trend. It was -10,-10,-20,-20 for last four days. Today it reversed and I gained 20 grams. That must be the result of milk fortifiers I was having. One positive was outdone by another negative my billirubin level went up, which indicated that my jaundice is on increase so I am back on the lights.
Apart from these stats it would just have been the normal day but then the nurse asked my parents that they can have a cuddle with me. As usual mum got lot excited and got hold of me. You may remember that last time she had me and by the time it was dad's turn, nurse advised to put me back in the incubator as my temperature went down. Dad was reminding mom of that and asking her to let him a cuddle as well. But mom wanted more of me and took her time. After some time dad's worries came true and my o2 sats became erratic. I had to be put back to the incubator and dad had a sad face. Meanie mum was laughing...

Day 16: Motherly Concern

I mentioned yesterday that mom had passed her driving test. Today she made it to good use. She drove the car herself today without the presence of dad. Jasmine came along with her. They left dad to do the housework. Today as mum was sitting near me she was examining each of my movements. As I haven't cried for last three days and was too much settled, she didn't like it. Most of times she notices something wrong in me well before doctor's do. My skin looks very dry. And to make the things worse I am losing weight for last three days. First I lost 10 grams for last two days and today I lost 20 grams. You might laugh at the amount I lost but it is not a laughing matter if your total weight is around a kilo. And mom's patience with me broke when I vomited. She was all nerves. There was no doctor available and the answer from the nurse wouldn't satisfy her. So she left it to the evening visit.
In the evening Jasmine brought me this lovely name tag which she attached to my incubator. She wanted to touch me. She gave me her fingers to hold and also helped me with my milk feed. After the feed I vomited again which got my mom in tears . She called for the doctor. Then doctor calmed her nerves by saying that it was normal with preemies. Thats fancy name for premature babies like me. He told her that they will add fortifiers (more calories and vitamins) to my milk feed so that I can gain weight. And will add some medicine to my milk to make it thick so that I don't vomit it. Motherly concern was little relaxed now and she went home feeling better. Late night I got the call from dad about how I was. Every night mum makes dad call the hospital about my well being as she can't sleep without knowing it.

Day 15: Mom had a good news for me

Yesterday mom told me that today is her practical driving test. She seemed very desperate to pass the test. She was worried how she will come to see me at hospital when dad will be away at work. And also her theory test was expiring which meant she need to pass in a hurry. When today she entered the room beaming I knew she had passed. She was very excited and told me the whole story how she made it. She told me how she was crying when told about her result by the examiner and dad couldn't make out whether she had passed or failed.
I was well as well the whole day although nurse had a little concern about my dropping temperature and being a little anemic. I am on vapo-therm machine now. It is a replacement for CPAP. OK to make you easy to understand CPAP will be like you having your face out of the car window while it is moving from 30mile to 100miles an hour while vapo-therm is gentler around 10-20 miles an hour. This is just an approximate analogy, don't quote me to a doctor.
Mom had a cuddle with me again today and also had a lot of questions/worries to ask the nurse as usual. She was concerned about my green poo today.

Day 14: Lazy day in

Its too much rush here today. Lots of new kids are coming to the block. Seniors like me had to make some space for them. So I voluntarily(may be not) decided to move to another room. This room is small but quite and you can get much needed darkness to have a nap. Later on I agreed to share the room with another new kid.
Troika of mom, dad and Jasmine came today and were looking all around for me. My name was not on any board to their surprise. Then somebody pointed them to me at my den. And the family rejoined.
Otherwise day was spent lazily lying on my tummy. And as always this got my mum concerned. Are all moms like that. when I was crying she was concerned, when I was moving too much she was concerned and now today I am resting and she is concerned again.

Day 13: Things are normal now

Slowly and slowly one by one all my ornaments are being taken away. Ventilator had gone with the infection. CPAP is being taken away from time by time nurses say 6 on 6 off meaning its on me for six hours and then taken off for 6 hours. Then I will be on total milk feed by tomorrow and then needles in my arm will be taken off once they are not required for TPN feed. Last of the needles will be removed from my feet once I am done with my antibiotics course. Yes they can give these back if I need later but I am in no mood yet.
Mom and dad visited and were overall happy to see me. They did the usual chores. Mom talked to me about different things. She says that I came early because I couldn't bear the pain that she was having. I decided to come out so that she need not have to suffer. She thinks that I have inflicted her share of pain on myself. Dad says that mom needs to be more positive and look it differently. She shouldn't worry about things not in their control but enjoy the moment of seeing me develop in front of their eyes.

Day 12: Me in my sun shades

Life is easier today. I am off that mask for almost all of the day. My appetite is also increasing, now the milk goes direct into my tummy. One annoyance is these lumber punctures I am having. To add to your knowledge if you don't know, lumber puncture is done in the spinal cord to get some fluid from it. This is done to examine is there any infection in the brain. Doctor's were again unsuccessful to get the fluid just like last time. Somebody needs to tell them that my brain is functioning well otherwise how would I have been writing this blog.
Let me give you another example of my sharp brain. I am already potty trained. I heard again and again my mum's concern with nurses about whether I am doing the pu properly or not. So to calm her concerns whenever she changes my nappy I do the pu, every time at the right time.
Please comment on my smart photo with my sun shades on, any modeling contracts please...

My First Video

Day 11: CPAP off

After the kangaroo care I got yesterday, I am in good mood today. I was so well behaved that doctor's thought even to remove the CPAP from my face. I loved the feeling of having my face free of all the wires. Everybody around me was surprised to see me active after all the lazy days. Many times I pulled the feed wire out from my mouth and I would throw away the eye shields. It is lot better to feel free.
Today mum and Jasmine came alone. I was told that dad is in office to get more leave to be with me. Mummy took lot of pictures of me and Jasmine. She did my cares and gave me comfort by holding me. Jasmine as usual sung songs for me. She had prepared some new song for me today that I enjoyed.
Then dad came as well. Mom asked him to do path(prayers) as usual. Jasmine did my feeding, which is now increased to 2ml of milk every hour. She brought some toys for me as well. One was a small tiger and other a small white cow. They went home happy in the knowledge that I was doing well.

Day 10: My first cuddle

Today was a special day, like a reward for last two days struggle. I am so excited to tell you, it was my first cuddle with my mom and dad. That I will tell you later, First thing first. In the morning I had a phone call from mom dad about how I was. Claire told them that I was a well behaved boy today. So when my parents visited and saw me crying instead of behaving nicely they were little concerned. They soon knew the reason. My cpap was not pointed to my nostrils but into my mouth and my eye shields were not in place as well. Although all that was my doing. I don't like that mask and those shields, so first thing I do is just pull them off. When they came to know of this they told me to behave but were also happy that I was active instead of being lethargic like last two days.
Then I had a visitor. Sonu auntie came to see me. She seemed pleased to see me in good mood. She noticed lot of things in me. My new shiny nails, my eyebrows and my new eyelashes. I was told that she is the first one to write me an email. Yes I already had an email address, if you want to know it is ujjwalkang@gmail.com .
While she was there my mom dad had another surprise. The nurse told them that they can have a cuddle with me. My mom got the first go. It was so nice to be out of my bed into the hands of my mom. She held me like I was a very delicate piece. She was also enjoying the experience like I was. Sonu auntie took some pictures of us. After holding for some time when it was dad's turn she went meanie didn't want to have my dad a go. At last she agreed.
My dad had then along go and he also seemed to enjoy it although he doesn't seem to be that good cuddler as mom, I was almost slipping from his hands. But it felt very good. Once I was back in I didn't like it. I started crying again. Then mom settled me by putting her hands over me and my head. As usual she had to go to express milk for me. Then dad comforted me for a long time almost hours. Whenever he would try to take off his hand I will start crying and then he had to keep it there again. Overall it was a day to remember.